Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize