I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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