i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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