Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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