i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
