Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
