I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
