I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it glows. i had to have it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
