his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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