All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
