I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
