she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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