You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
