Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
