my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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