If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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