This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
