Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
