i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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