somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
