The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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