On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
