she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
