I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
