I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize