i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
