You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
