Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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