You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
