I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
