Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
