I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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