Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
