Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
