Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
