Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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