we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
