I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
