after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't put those talents on a resume
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
