tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
