My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize