Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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