my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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