I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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