Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
