i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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