lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
