whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
