You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
