GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
