your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
