Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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