And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
