so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
