i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize