There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
