I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
