True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
