perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
