I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
