good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
