i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
